HOBY Paper

The Ripple Effect: How HOBY Sneaked Up On Me and Changed My Life

"I believe every person is created as the steward of his or her own destiny with great power for a specific purpose: To share with others, through service, a reverence for life in a spirit of love."- Hugh O Brian.  


          These words kicked off an incredible weekend for me and 179 other high school sophomores during Memorial Day weekend 2010.  Nominated by my school for a leadership conference, I was naive and confused about what I was attending.  What could I possibly learn at a leadership conference?  What could I possibly get out of it?  I went anyway, and I am forever thankful that I did.  At Mount St. Mary’s University in rural Emmitsburg, Maryland, I was introduced to HOBY.  HOBY, an abbreviation for Hugh O’ Brian Youth is a leadership conference for high school sophomores that has gone on annually since 1958.  Successful and notable alumni include Mike Huckabee, actress Shannon Elizabeth, and Raviv “Ricky” Ullman, Phil from the DisneyChannel series Phil of the Future.  It was here that I learned many invaluable life skills, which have forever shaped and changed my life.  While it is impossible to describe HOBY to a “non-HOBY”, I will try as best as I can to reiterate the incredible life-changing experience that I was fortunate enough to receive.

Hugh O’ Brian was an actor, best known for his work on the 1950‘s television show The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp.  In 1958, he ventured to Africa after receiving an invitation from German missionary doctor Dr. Albert Schweitzer.  He was swept up by this mysterious man, this “jack-of-all-trades”.   Dr. Schweitzer was concerned with the prospect of global peace and he felt that the United States was the only country who could help instigate it.  He said something that left a profound impact on the young actor, “The most important thing in education is to teach young people to think for themselves.”  Hugh O’ Brian never forgot these words, and within two weeks of returning to the United States, he put together an experimental youth leadership seminar, which would eventually evolve into the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership Seminar, now popularly known as HOBY.

HOBY holds five core values as the most important for developing leaders: volunteerism, integrity, excellence, diversity, and community partnership.  Held in the highest regard is volunteerism.  The act of providing service willfully and without pay.  Sacrificing one’s time and energy in service of a noble or worthy cause, without any monetary benefit. The second key value is Integrity, which is the act of being morally righteous and sound, with a strong and firm character.  The third is Excellence, or the drive and ability to succeed, to go beyond what is expected of one in order to be the best.  The fourth is Diversity, which is a variety of beliefs, backgrounds, experiences, professions, that all come together in service of a unified purpose to achieve a greater good.  The last but certainly not the least valuable core value is Community partnership.  This is when one works with one’s community in order to improve its overall quality for the succeeding generations that follow.  All these attributes are necessary and indispensable for young leaders to posses.  They are the core of HOBY’s beliefs and they are engraved into the minds of every potential youth leader at the various HOBY conferences.

The conference began on a cool Friday morning, ending on a blistering hot Sunday afternoon.  They were simultaneously the shortest and longest 3 days of my life.  There was everything from motivational speakers, to leadership panels, to deep retrospective discussions on various aspects of life, such as diversity and poverty.  There was also a LOT of food.  The food there was delicious and I’m sure I packed on a “Freshmen Fifteen” in one weekend.  The speakers were simultaneously hysterical and thought provokingly meaningful.  Chris Bowers’ hilariously positive outlook on life had me in tears of laughter, while Sandy Queen’s stories of personal triumph had me in crying from jubilance and sadness.  I made more friends in one weekend than I ever thought was possible, most of whom I continue to talk to excessively, some more then my “real world” friends.  I participated in an outdoor community service project where we placed protective tubes around tiny samplings, so as not to be eaten by wild animals.  Despite my hatred of working with nature, I left the park with a feeling of accomplishment and humility, and I am grateful for the experience.  I watched a talent show that both moved me to laughter and tears.  Having everything from beautiful classical piano, dramatic monologues, and hilarious “Presidential” impressions, that show gave me a massive feeling of camaraderie and pride to my fellow HOBY class.  The staff surprised us with a choreographed dance which was among the most spectacular live shows I’ve ever witnessed.  I had the time of my life at a dance in the cafeteria that had EVERYBODY getting down on the dance floor.  Everyone was included, no one was excluded.  I was near tears as I stood in a massive circle around a huge auditorium, watching students, Alumni, facilitators, and coordinators share how much a group of complete strangers had impacted their lives in 56 hours, some with tears streaming down their cheeks.  During the closing ceremonies, we impressed the parents with our insanely cool cheer, and cheered and screamed for our friends during the slide show.  Saying goodbye to these wonderful people was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and I seriously contemplated not going home.  It was one of the most magical experiences of my life and I will never forget it.

I could write book upon book about the many amazing friends I met at HOBY.  They included some of the funniest, sincere, and loving people I have ever met.  I truly consider many of them to be members of my family.  I was not at HOBY for 5 minutes before I made a new friend.  Just walking up to the college, a fellow and I struck up a conversation and he officially became my first friend at HOBY.  I have since learned he is one of the coolest people I have ever met.  I met another fellow who is probably the friendliest person I have ever met.  The literal center of attention, as well as a classy ladies’ man, he couldn’t have been more friendly.  This person and I continue to talk excessively and I consider him to be more like a brother then a friend.  I was placed into a group with ten other people, as well as two group facilitators. We were Group 17, also known as the “Techno Snookies”. This was my family for 3 days, and I truly love these people with all my heart.  We shared deep and personal parts of our lives, with people we barely knew.  We were different in almost every single way, but we formed an unbreakable bond.  I met one girl so dedicated to schooling that she was during her homework DURING the conference.  We now text nearly every day, and she might as well be my flesh and blood relative.  Not just one, but two of my group members were among the most talented piano players I have ever seen. One of my fellow Snookies helped me protect the trees with the protective tubes; she kept her spirit up, even though she hated nature.  One of them even looked like Nick Jonas!  We laughed together, partied together, danced together, and cried together.  They are the greatest people I have ever met, and I miss them intensely. My roommate and I would talk into the wee hours of the morning, about everything from girls to music.  I met one man who may be the funniest person I have ever met.  This guy had the entire conference in tears as he assisted people find objects throughout the room in a modified game of “Hot and Cold”.  I met people who look like Nick Jonas, Drake Bell, and Barack Obama.  One of the TA’s, or “Team Alumni”, former HOBY participants who came back as staff members, got me to spend 5 dollars on HOBY Hugs.  HOBY Hugs are nothing more then index cards with the words “HOBY Hug” written on them; they cost 50 cents per card and the money goes to support HOBY.  I only planned on buying one or two, but this guy coerced me into buying 10 cards, or 5 dollars worth.  He convinced me to spend 5 dollars, on index cards, but hey, it's HOBY. There were people I didn’t even meet at HOBY who I now talk to close to everyday.  There is one person in particular I have talked to everyday since HOBY ended, and I do not recall meeting her in person at HOBY. However she is now a close personal friend and I am grateful to her for her sound music advice, fashion advice, movie advice, and general life advice.  She's very well rounded.  There are countless others who I have befriended and I am thankful for their friendship.  I miss these people everyday, and I constantly look forward for the next time we will reunite.  These people changed my life, and I consider myself grateful that I got to meet them.

I have continued to describe HOBY as “life-changing” and as the “greatest experience as my life”.  Many people believe, as do I, that these phrases are over-used and cliché.  However, I truly believe that HOBY was a life changing experience, and among the best of my life.  I believe HOBY made me a more loving, compassionate, and thoughtful individual, better suited to be a future leader.  It wasn’t just HOBY as a whole that changed my life, but several individual experiences.  One of them was Chris Bowers.  He was also a motivational speaker, who also happened to be a HOBY Alumni.  His message of positive outlook and positive thinking, really struck a chord with me.  He taught me that nothing is accomplished from negative thinking and griping and complaining, only through positive thinking could the world be changed. He taught me to “not pull on the wire”, and to think calmly and carefully when in high pressure situations.  I enjoyed his positive message so much, that I bought his t-shirt, which I rarely do, for I am a cheapskate and hate to spend my own money.

Another life changing experience was the HOBY Dinner Simulation.  We were randomly put into different groups, based on the color of the strip of paper we were given.  I had the purple strip. We were then sent to different parts of the cafeteria based upon our color, and were served dinner accordingly.  A select four got to eat the “elite” lunch, which included multiple courses, as well as personal waiters.  A larger percentage got to eat a traditional middle class meal of pasta and salad, and was seated at large tables with more then enough food to go around.  My group, which was the largest, was the poor group, also known as “the party group”. We were rounded up into a small section of the cafeteria, where it was standing room only. There was no room to sit down and moving around was very tricky and complicated.  We were served a delicious and hearty meal of tortillas with rice and beans.  There was also a fourth, smaller group that were on the other side of the cafeteria, who didn’t even have food at first.  Their food was later delivered them by a large “Red Cross” truck, and they were served a hearty meal of goulash and apple juice.  Each group represented a different part of the world; the “elite group” represented the rich people of the world, just 2% of the population.  The regular people represented the middle class, 33% of the world’s population.  The poor group represented the world’s poor, an overwhelming 60% of the world’s population.  The fourth group represented the refugees, displaced, or homeless, representing 5% of the world’s population.  We were fed according to our class.  At first the outlook was bleak; why was it that we were fed rice and beans, while these other people got to eat spaghetti and chocolate cake?  Then, as the whole point of this exercise started to grow on us, we became thankful for the food that we did have, we feasted on as much rice and beans as we could.  Despite the cramped quarters, we had a blast.  We sang, danced, and first bumped; the whole time there was nothing but a smile on our faces.  It might have been the most enjoyable part of the conference.  Afterward, we had long discussions about the importance of what we had just experienced.  We discussed the inherent metaphors, such as having most of the conference people into a small space, reflecting how most of the world has the least amount of space, as well as deeper hidden ones.  Many of us came off inspired to serve our community and I for one was one of those people.  This experience gave me a greater understanding of the sufferings of the world, and I felt inspired to help ease it.  I have gone about trying to start a Volunteer Club at my school, and I hope to visit a third-world country sometime within the next 5 years.

The final experience that had a profound impact on me was Sandy Queen.  She was another motivational speaker, but she was different than Chris Bowers.  While she was still hysterical, her message was more personal and emotional for the people of HOBY.  She started by telling all of the people in the audience that we were “Good Stuff”, something all too many of us don’t hear very often. She proceeded to tell us story after story of personal triumph and redemption, how numerous people had gone from a life of drugs and debauchery, to a life of service and hope.   She told us the story of one man who went from smoking marijuana every single day to being a fighter pilot.  She gave us side-splitting laughter when she told us about the difference between boys and girls.  Then she did something I will never forget.  She made us stand around the room in a circle, which was no easy task for well over 250 people.  We then proceeded to share what this weekend had meant to us and how it changed our lives.  I watched as people shared stories of troubled home lives, as others stood there with tears streaming down their cheeks.  We stood there sharing for so long that we were late to lunch.  I will be completely honest here.  As I stood there in that circle, with the end of the conference fast approaching, I started tearing up.  Everything I had learned and everyone I had met had suddenly come to a head, and I was overrun with emotion.  I am eternally thankful for what HOBY has given me, and I would not trade the experience for anything in the world.

In summary, HOBY was unbelievable.  For fifty-six hours, I was with the greatest assembly of people the world has ever known or will know, and I learned invaluable life lessons that I will never forget.  It touched me in ways that I didn’t expect, and I know it did the same to others.  HOBY taught me how to be a leader, how to care for others, and how to change the world.  It introduced me to some of the best and brightest people I have ever known, and I know I formed life long friendships that weekend.  I watched as people broke down in front of a group of strangers, and laughed until they couldn’t open their eyes.  HOBY inspired me to be brave, to get out of my comfort zone.  There is a song that Sandy Queen played for us called “If I Were Brave”.  The lyrics talk about how people are often too cowardeous to do their hearts desire, and it longs for “what I would do if I were brave.” 

“If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, where fools and dreamers dare to tread.  I'd never lose faith, even when losing my way.  What step would I take today, if I were brave?” 

I have continued to listen to this song repeatedly and I have taken its message to heart.  To truly be a leader, to truly inspire someone, to truly change the world for the better, one has to be able to leave their comfort zone, and do things one wouldn’t normally do.  One should do risky things that are not guaranteed successes.  To truly lead successfully, one would walk the razor’s edge, and take chances.  One thing HOBY encouraged us to do is be like a ripple.  A ripple starts out small, but over time it grows bigger and bigger and bigger.  HOBY taught me that not all world-changing acts are big, some are small.  However, they can grow and grow and grow, just like a ripple.  HOBY has started the ripple in me, and I am going to start it in my life and the life of others.  I was not expecting HOBY to change my life, I do not think anyone was.  Then, it just happened.  HOBY truly was a prodigious experience, a truly marvelous and life-changing.  It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I cannot wait to return in the future.  If I had to sum up HOBY in one word it would be, “OUT*STANDING”!